yup, I kinda missed you.

xoxo.

Cherry Bomb

I woke up today, oh it's been a long days already and its only 4 o clock.
Ridiculous right? I don't know what to tell you, I am honestly so tired. these lungs are getting older & older by the second, this smoke that runs through my body and tears away at it slowly. I don't have the desire to quit, not yet anyways. maybe soon enough my grown up adult decisions will kick in, but for right now I am young and wild and free. who needs all that bullshit anyways? all it ever gets me is trouble, trying to answer to the people who think they know what is best for me. There is no way that they could know.

I have been off of work for the past 3 DAYS and it is driving me crazy, I need that activity in my life, the whole getting up early and getting ready. It's a hate/love relationship. haha.

maybe seeing an old friend tonight, who knows?

:))

The marks on my arms.

So we are early into year 2011 and things are weird, like strange weird. He likes me, I am pretty sure anyways and I do find him attractive. He's a good person as far as I can tell, like really sweet, but he's one of those guys you just can't win with because he is into couple of other girls. I am so not the girl that dates a guy like that, I would like to have my guy all to myself, not a player.

Moving onto another subject- My birthday is in 15 days guyz! I'm turning 20 this year ;) and going to be doing a bunch of heavy drinking and smoking on my golden birthday! Wishing for a plane ticket somewhere, anywhere really. I don't honestly care where it is because it would mean I could have a couple of days away from this place, this taboo routine that makes me feel like life is going nowhere, no whereee NO WHERE. I am afraid of growing up and all this shit and pressure from the people in my life is not helping a bit. So a day or two or three would be great for me, A FRESH BREATH OF FUCKING OXYGEN for once.

Why are you only logical on Sundays?
please remember us for what we were and not what we are now, because what we are now is BULLSHIT. We never talk and I hate that a lot because it doesn't even feel like right. You would get what I was saying if you read this.

<333

P.S. I am super fucking stoned right now, so please forgive my writing.