spilled glass

i am happy to say that you are a constant in my life, I cannot tell you how badly i needed this. FUCK IT, i love you honestly more than i ever thought i could love a person. The way your hair falls over your eyes, the way your entire body is shaking when you laugh, that one crooked tooth, the mole on your back, your warm hands, the way i can feel your breathe on my neck as you kiss me, You are honestly the closest thing I have ever had to happiness.

Do not ever change, i beg you.

shitty vodka

this week was good, I already miss my friends! i hope the rest of the summer will be okay, it has just been scorching hot outside and it's hard to do activities outside except swimming of course! I'm used to the heat now tho, I guess it's getting me prepared for my big texas move.

So we talk less & less these days, I truly miss you, but i understand that things are different.

Today was amazing <33333333333333 I'm so happy i have you in my life.

back again && smiling.

wow all of my recent rants are pretty angry sounding. I think i need to try and forget about it all, because the only problem in my life right now is "you".

The beach was warm today, ahh the feeling of summer and all its glory. I could not have loved it more, or you for that matter.

"Now that a few unworthy people who were sucking up all my free time are basically out of it. I will try My best to get you back into it!"

WHAT bullshit is this. you are almost a fucking adult, don't blame other people for your choices you dumb shit. You chose that road, you chose those friends and those things that you did, so don't blame anybody else for your stupid childish mistakes.

GROW the fuck upp.

my bones are turning into dust

you need me too much, it's wearing me out. The late calls and the early visits, look i am tired and worn out, I do care and I will help you out as much as i can but I'm not your savior. We all hurt and feel like we are trapped sometimes but the truth is the trap is only as big as you make it to be. Having a backbone isn't a gift it's a skill and you have all the power in the world to gain it, you just have to remember that. I will love you forever but that does not make me your mother.

stupid

July 4th is kicking my ass today. shit.

long are those days gone

it's an early morning for me today, which is sad because i'm in major need of a long dead sleep. I feel sort of worn out from yesterday, too much has happened too fast. I wish i could talk to you the way I used to but I am pretty sure those days are gone, long long gone. But I will not forget.